Dont want this any more!

Im not even looking forward to work tomorrow, cuz im too bussy thinking about the coconut I ate in good faith and then had to purge when I found out coconut is code for fat! All day has been shit due to this! Its insane! My hair ís gunna be gone soon, my friends are gone (not that the ones I had hear seemed to be real). My mum hates me cuz im a pain in the ass! My sister annoys the shit outta me! I feel so FAT I wasnt even weak today I was ful of energy, imagine how much I must have eaten to not be weak and tiered. '
i want a hug, I wasnt to be shown love in a way that I percieve as love...I want them to care for me, not my life.
Dont want to live if I dont even look forward to it (ironic thing being I justed watched saw II. I am a perfect candidate for his game arnt I)
I HATE THESE MOMENTS WHEN THE FUTURE SEEMS SO HOPELESS, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I HAVE TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL, BUT I CANT SEEM TO KEEP UP (OR MAYBE I AM)!
I just want to live my life independent of others in a sort of autistic state! That would be horrid though, so I dont want that! I dont know....just want the flab to go away!!!!