Week 3 and review time

SO this week was half term. They planned some nice dagis activities for us to take part in. On monday morning it was marbeling. The only problem was they didnt have any marbeling inks. First they tried it with normal inks, then they went out to the shop and bought oil based pain (how dumb can u get..pain is way too thick) so we mixed the paints with white spirit and then it worked. SO the two of us who had had the patients to wait got some nice patterned pieces of paper whooptidu!! In the afternoon it was time for card making, this was actually better that I expected as the resources were good (glitter, matterial, feathers ect..) Tuesday we went into Brighton on the minibus..had to compensate with half a kitkat just to walk into a shop chose a couple of beads and walk back to the car. In the afternoon we made jewlery with out new beads. I actually quite like the necklace and braclette I made. Wednesday morning we had a crappy creative writing session, the topic was shoes and I didnt have anything to write about shoes. In the afternoon we went to the cinema to see charlottes web (it had to be a child friendly movie). Thursday morning it was tie dye...I made some nice underware and a tank top...really cool actually...
MY REVIEW..well basically we didnot come to any conclusion other than that in 3 weeks we will have another review but this time we will really try to get adult services to come (they didnt turn up this time) cuz they are the ones who have to decide what they think I should do next...IN thew mean time I will continue to feel stuffed and gain weight (which is seen as a very positive thing cuz it must mean I am getting better). Oh well another 3 weeks of doing nothing much but eating isnt as bad as 3 weeks of hell at home.

shitty week

All you chocolate addicts out there, you would absolutly love Colwood. 3 kitkats shoved down your throat together with a glass of whole milk isnt as pleasant as it it sounds day in day out...
I asked to have smaller snacks and bigger meals but they said that it was too much of a hassle.
For thoes of you who dont believe green tea burns fat, reconsider...we anorexics at Colwood are now banned from drinking green tea, the lab called and said that they were worried because green tea burns fat and interacts with drugs (medication)
Half term week plan...card making, necklace making cinema hopefully, creative writing workshop....sounds like kindergarten...Oh well
Feel constantly bloated and fatty...mum is not even gunna tick the boxes of the food I have refused to eat this weekend, thought she would let me off, but no...so apperently I will be making up A LOT of biscuits and milk.

first weekend leave

Got to the unit on sunday evening...was really scared to start with specially when they told me that at nine every night we have to hand our mobiles in. Luckily I managed to persuade them to let me keep it!
I was actually perfectly fine. The night staff are so much fun and its not scary or lonely sleeping in the dorms, with 2 anorexics a schitso an OCD sufferer and a plain pain in the ass lol. Was a bit annoying when they came in and woke us up at six o clock for our Monday morning weight check. We then had to go back to bad as we are not allowed to get up and start getting in the shower until 7, ready for breakfast at 8.30 sharpish (a bowl of cereal, whole milk(I get rice milk cause of my lactose intolerance), toast and orange juice)! At 10 (yes SO late) school (if you can call it that) starts. At 11.10 its time for snack (digestive biscuite or kitkat and whole milk) back to school at 11.30. Lunch at 13.00 (goes on a two week rottar, always includes a custard desert.) Back to school at 13.30. End school at 15.10 and snack time at 15.30. Dinner at 18.00 (also on a rotar, usually yogurt or fruit and ice cream for desert. And at 20.00 another snack just to top it all off!
Bed time is 23.00, but that varies on the mood of the night staff and what is going on.
On most days (not weigh days monday and thursday) we get woken up at 08.00.
On fridays school starts at 11.30.

I have played WAY TOO MUCH rummycub this week and done WAY TOO LITTLE other stuff..but the weaving was intersting and the cooking sessions on monday mornings save me from the hospital food (which actually I find ok)
My anorexia is so about control I find it so easy to just cruise along in the hospital environment, its fun sneaking in the extra excersize and not sitting still for 30 min after dinner (yes I have to be watched after dinner) As soon as I got home on Friday though eating became hard again, the anorexic thoughts came back, woke up about 5 times after dreaming of food related issues. I cant handle eating when I am not being forced to. Dont suppose I will be allowed home next weekend since I havnt stuck to my meal plan this weekend. I did lose weight this week (Ya I managed to loose a kg in hospital, recon I had binge weight when I went in) so I dont know why they let me home. I think it had to do with the fact that I go to synagogue on saturday and have special Friday night dinners.
Dont think this place is gunna help me over come my eating disorder, but I am scared to transferre to a specialist adult unit because I have settled in so nicely here and the people are young (thats both good and bad).
We will see how the next week goes...

Photos

Hospital

Today is the day..at 6.45 I will become an inpatient at Colwood...Hopefully in 3 weeks I shall be moved to a specialist Ed clinic in Eastbourne. Colwood is not specialized enough and I am too old for them really. They just rely on the fact that they can boss the children around which I wont stand for and I guess both they and I know it, because they told me at my admittance meeting that they were not very optimistic that Colwood was the place for me and that I would only be admitted on a 3 week trial period, just so I wouldnt die. They want to refere me to a clinic in London, but the Eastboune one is slightly closer I think.
There is a very nice looking one in Norwitch, but that is like 6hrs drive away so might not want to go there lol.
Anyway wont be blogging during the weeks obviously, but I will have my mobil with me so feel free to call.