Happy

I never really believed that as ur weight went up ur thinking changed, but perhaps this week I have been proved wrong. Then again the happiness and new found acceptance and motivation was short lived.
i gained my table tennis insentive and was happy about that (I swore that I wouldnt be happy, but sad as it would have meant a weight gain. All day however I was over joyed at the fact that I could finally play table tennis. The happiness and ability to eat however left me by Friday when I was over whelmed with a feeling of stress. This morning was hell and another childish tantrum proceeded breakfast. I guess it is true that there will be good days and there will be bad days and you are not cured just because you manage to eat a piece of cake without feeling like shit, or manage to go through a whole day without feeling like you have no purpose. The fact that I have so far put the weight on only on my hips and bum is very positive but the fear still remains that the tummy will flab soon.
I was visited by a social worker who told me about a supported living accomodation, where ten people share a house, which is staffed from 9-21 every day. The rent is only 10 a week and this includes gas water and tv. I have applied for benifits, and after my review,m which has been reschedualed to the 2 of April I hope that the wait will not be too long until I can move into my new house in Worthing.